There are some things people dont get over easily pain from the past is one of them. Trauma changes people: It changes values, priorities, worldviews, and most of allit changes how we relate to others. Painful, life-threatening experiences take people beyond the normal day-to-day life, leaving them stuck behind defensive walls that keep them from re-entering the world they have always known as home. So how does it happen? How do we lose the loving closeness with those around us? And better yet, how do we re-gain what pain has robbed us of?